Zoo Animals?

The other day, the kids were playing with their friend and they began singing a song.  As I sat on the outside of their little circle, more an observer than participator, I started thinking about things we have our toddlers/preschoolers do.  Things we think are so cute, things that ARE cute, but even if most of it is purely innocent, I felt like the kids were some sort of circus creatures performing their little "acts" just because they want to please us.  Indeed, we often want them to recite "Old MacDonald" or "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and it is fun for them and for us...or fun at least for some of them.  Surely there are good things to be learned/had from group activities or simply being part of a group.  But as I sat there watching, being slightly amused at their performance, I noticed that my kids weren't really that excited about going into the circle to act "like a silly clown, shaking and dancing all around."  I went back and forth between feeling a bit embarrassed that my two didn't want to participate to feeling slightly proud that my kids aren't followers.  Later, I thought some more, hence this blog post.

Why, when I brought my kids to Little Gym, did they not like singing the songs or walking in the circle with the parachute, or sitting on the floor to clap along to some little ditty?  Is it weird that I kind of didn't mind?  Is it weird that I kind of didn't want them to follow the herd?  They wanted to run around and play on the equipment, walk on the balance beam, jump over the pads lined up and grab onto the parallel bars.  They weren't crazy out of control kids that people would look at and say, "whoa, get a hold of your wild children."  They simply didn't want to do the things I mentioned.  Preston wanted to do what the couple of older kids were doing rather than follow the main events.

As they grow older, I want Preston and Claire to think freely, and critically and ask questions more than I want them to feel the need to always please.  Do I think there are times that they need to follow my directions or rules they need to follow, or people they need to show respect to? Absolutely.  I also want to have a relationship with my children that nurtures mutual respect, especially as they grow older and more capable of true critical thinking.  It's a little early now to say I can have an open discussion with Preston as to why it is best that he nap or get to bed at a reasonable hour, however I can see one day discussing why he should or shouldn't be able to stay out an hour later.  I want to say if he has a good enough reason I'd be open to being persuaded.  For now, I try not to say "no" to every little thing they do, and I try to let them follow their interests, whether those interests include singing with the group or not.  I will do my best to engage them in things they might not love at first sight but flapping a parachute up in the air with 12 other 3 year olds probably won't be at the top of the list!  ; )